Mama's Girl

Though not really my favourite, this is a nice photo of us. Both of us were actually looking at the camera! Sophie is starting to look more like me when I was little...

Roasted Chicken

Enough with steamed cod fish already! Sophie is starting find the expensive dish (about $10 per day) unappealing. Today, Sophie ate roasted chicken for dinner instead. She was quite excited by the new taste at first, but her enthusiasm did not last long enough. Still, I managed to put half a medium-sized drumstick with thigh into her stomach! YEAH... All thanks to the oven Papa bought! Now Sophie can have oven baked and roasted food instead of boring steamed fish. Of course it is also much more convenient for me to cook now - just set the timer and wait.

Play Pretend

I noticed that Sophie is starting to use anything that resemble a spoon and a bowl to "stir" and "feed" her stuff animals, doll and even toys. I think she must have picked it up from her brief interaction with a slightly older boy (his name is Zack, I think...) at Cherie Hearts a few weeks back. Eager to see what else she could do, we bought her a cheap set of kitchen and dinner accessories. Sophie seems to enjoy playing with (or destroying) them... She likes to play pretend alot which is rather surpising for her age. Now, Ah Mah would have something to do with her (Ah Gong play soccer with her) when she comes over.

I think Ah Mah also enjoyed play pretending. She showed her how to "pour" from a teapot, "drink" from the cup and "feed" her. It is amazing how easily Sophie learn to mimick and pretend to eat and drink.

It is interesting that she picked up the spoon with her left hand and then passed it to her right to "scoup" and "feed" the cow. Yup! Right-hander!

Down And Out

Mama spent the last weekend trying to recuperate from a viral infection. Papa had to take leave on Friday to send Mama to see her doctor and take over all maternal and domestic duties temporarily. It was really tough because Mama's headache made her too giddy and nauseous to even be upright (And no, I am not pregnant!). Mama was also plagued by senseless bad dreams that made her disoriented and moody. Fortunately, the episode did not last longer than a couple of days...

Sophie's Mama Is Angry And She Wants To Have Her Say...

From what I have learnt (from one perspective), "anger" is not a primary emotion. It stems from feelings of hurt, fear or unfairness. If such feelings are not processed and worked through properly, it becomes "anger" which may lead to aggressive behaviour and eventually a generalised antisocial attitude. Of course, the first step to "working IT through" is AWARENESS and ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. So, that is exactly what I am doing now... COMPLAINING and "OH YES, I AM UPSET!"...

Recently, I have developed a resentment towards "clueless" parents who had it "easy" with their babies. They are not particularly talented in parenting and they do not invest any effort or time in "upgrading" themselves. Worse still (or fortunately for them), they seem to have "textbook" babies who eat well (perhaps it is the nicotine, alcohol or opium in the food), sleep well (maybe sleeping pills), grow fast (and furious) and even learn beautifully (or so they claim)! Such parents also sound so unbelievably irritating when they rave about having the "second", "third" or "fourth" child (must be the lure of baby bonus) and then leaving them to the care of the grandparents or maids while they pursue their PERFECT CAREER. What is this world becoming?! These people "talk big" about the joy and bliss of parenthood... but come on, how much time do they really spend with their children (no, I don't mean when they do shopping with their children asleep in the strollers)???

Humph... Okay... So I am overgeneralizing and sounding pretty unfair myself. I do apologise. That is only because I am having a hard time coping with Sophie. Yet parenting seems like a breeze to others... And they so like to BRAG!!! Sigh! Maybe I am just plain jealous. But please, be honest! Admit... just admit that at times, you feel defeated by the overwhelming responsibility and workload, you feel bad that you cannot spend more quality time with your baby and you feel guilty to put your own interest above the needs of your baby. Don't put up a front and boast about how your baby thrive in bad manners, poor nutrient and unhealthy habits! BE AUTHENTIC for heaven's sake! And yes, these people do exist!

I often find myself at the mercy of Sophie's mood, energy level and appetite. At the bottom of my daily task list, after fulfilling Sophie's needs, are the household chores to be completed. I could barely squeeze time out of the schedule for toilet breaks... And every night, before my own bedtime, I wonder what have I done right or wrong that day? How can I do better? If Sophie has learnt enough for the day... or if she is a happy enough toddler? Am I helping her develop a strong, resilient and confident character? Is she going to be alright the next day?

When she sleeps, I would try my best to lie still next to her and keep myself awake. I would listen for a change in her breathing or a sign that she is shifting from one stage of sleep to another and waking up. Fearing that she could not go back to sleep on her own, I would quickly pat her gently or feed her water from her bottle. I have to coax her back to sleep before she awakes fully. When she stirs or moans, I would turn her to her side ever so gently and slowly because her head would otherwise be soaked in sweat. In the middle of her sleep, I also have to change her diaper before it gives her nappy rash or fungal infection... all without waking her up. Occasionally, I would just watch her sleep (if I have any energy left!) in the middle of the night because she looks like an angel when she is sound asleep.

When Sophie eats, I would tell myself beforehand to be patient, humorous and calm. Depending on her mood, I would "entertain" her enough to finish her bowl of porridge, cod fish and puree (Yes, she still likes fruit and vegetable puree). I could either let her pretend to feed me or hold on to a book while she eats. Sometimes, stickers could work, too! However, she almost always open her mouth only wide enough to taste the food. It could take a few attempts for a teaspoonful of food to finally enter her mouth and sometimes, it would not stay there for long. Even though a challenge, I love her cheeky expressions and comic actions as she tries to evade my spoon and distract me from feeding her.

When Sophie plays, I become her bodyguard and playmate on demand. She dashed around, totally oblivious to the potential danger of walls, corners or even window pane. I run around after her to minimise her injury but sometimes, she just run amok and hit the wall with her forehead. She also always puts everything into her mouth. She would deliberately turn her back to me and walk off before putting her toys into her mouth. If I should remove her toy from her hand, she would wail and big, fat tears would roll down her red cheeks. If that has not caused enough heartache in me, she would then drop herself into my arms for solace and wait for me to wipe off the tears on her face. At that juncture, I would relent and give her the toy back. And she would give me a huge smile of triumph and satisfaction before taking off with her "trophy"... No hard feelings... Her antics are hilarious at times and endearing always. She makes me laugh like child again.

I admit it is very tough for me to play the role of a mother and I am barely able to cope with it. And it freaks me out to even think about going back to the workforce while Sophie is in childcare. How can I ever manage? Maybe I am just not as capable as everyone else? How would that affect Sophie then? What should I do now? I guess my anger for "those" parents stems from my own insecurities, fears, and incompetency. I have yet to learn how to accept my own limitations and celebrate my accomplishments.

Regardless, motherhood to me is a journey filled with uncertainties, sacrifices, frustrations, worries, fears, and pain... All in hope that there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel, where my daughter's future lies.

Shut Your Eyes And Gab As Well...

Sophie refused to nap and sleep again. I did everything in her bedtime routine, but she did not fall asleep after her milk. In fact, she was in her hyperactive "I'm-dead-tired-but-I-don't-wanna-sleep-leh" mood. So, I suffered almost 2 hours of her laughing, blabbering and drooling while rolling and flipping around on the bed. Everytime I use my "power glare" on her, she giggled and stuck her saliva-coated finger into my nostril. I just don't get it! I thought ALL kids trembled in fear when I stared at them?! Have I lost my touch? When she finally slept (with the last 10ml of milk left!), I thanked God profusing for His compassion and miracle tonight!

Just Another Day At Home

Quite an uneventful day except for the adrenaline-pumping episode with the lizard on Sophie's cot bed. I do not really want to mention it... I think both the lizard and I must have inhaled the same amount of insecticide - it died.

Anyway, Sophie was trying to thread plastic "fingers", but somehow she has yet learnt to pull the thread through. Sigh... And she got frustrated. Keep on trying... don't give up!

Then it was her Aqua Doodle... Okay, she finally knew how to scribble and dab (or stab?) onto the cloth although it did not prevent her from "sucking" the tip of the pen!!!

Magnetic Magic 2

Sophie likes to play with magnets. Ah Mah taught her about fridge button magnets a couple of months ago and ever since then, she plays with button magnets and magnetic numbers (with very close supervision, of course). She seems to enjoy "sticking" the magnets onto the fridge and "plucking" them off. I could not let such fascination aka learning opportunity go to waste now, could I? So, off we went hunting high and low for a suitable magnetic board. I was torn between getting a easel board or a wall magnetic board. In the end, I bought a magnetic black board with a wooden frame from Ikea ($20). On separate occasion at ELC, I found very nice wooden magnetic alphabets (big magnets behind) in upper and lower case (on discount, so yeah!) and bought them for Sophie. My plastic magnetic numbers are worn out and the tiny magnets fall off sometimes (not very safe!), so I wanted replace them with the wooden magnetic numbers, but they were out of stock (darn!). We also chanced upon their easel board, also on discount, and bought it (U.P. was $190 and now selling at $100, how could I resist?). Therefore, now Sophie can play with the magnetic tiles and start familiarizing herself with alphabets and numbers. Maybe I would get the numbers in felt, she seems to like that Velcro stuff as well.

Drawers

Sophie is now proficient in opening and closing drawers without hurting herself, all thanks to the hours of training with TOYOGO plastic drawers. I deliberately put her toys inside so that she could practice when she wanted to play with her toys. I also rotated the toys to arouse her interest and curiosity.

Now that she is good with drawers, it is time for me to be consistent with the location of her toys in those drawers. Then she can exercise her memory as she retrieves the toys and hopefully, she will also start keeping them in their proper places as well.

Happy Valentines' Day Eve

4 years ago, around this time on the same day... Papa proposed to Mama. Last year, we were all so engrossed in managing Sophie that we totally forgot about this special day. Today, I heard the doorbell ring at noon. I thought it was strange because Ah Gong and Ah Mah have our house keys and they know I have to feed Sophie at that time. So armed with her spoonful of porridge and tissue paper, I rushed to the door and found myself staring at a young delivery man. He was holding a bouquet of flowers. I must have look distraught and shocked because he whispered my name in "fear" (I think so... or maybe it was my messy hair and legendary frown). It took a while but I regained my composure and told him to wait while I put the spoon and tissue paper down. Well, I was so happy that Papa surprised me with flowers... even though I did not really know what to do with them. So unromantic of Mama...

Genes

I have not been feeling too wonderful lately... I found myself perpetually lethargic, moody and hungry (yes... I found it strange as well!). I wonder if my diabetic genes have been activated... or my liver is down again... maybe my kidneys now... I am not sure. Also, my eczema has made a comeback. I thought I have outgrown it but apparently not. My GP said asthma, eczema, sensitive nose and food allergies are four good friends and he was not surprised at all to see an outbreak from me (especially since I had hives not too long ago and I used to see him for my sensitive nose). I asked him about the horrible itch and rashes I have got lately... he told me not to worry too much about my organs. If the organs are affected, the itch should not be accompanied by rashes like mine. Then I asked if I was allergic to certain food or maybe my rashes are stress-related... and he explained that since my rashes are mainly found on my limbs, we could rule out food allergy and stress. So, it is environmental... What is the trigger then? Would it ever stop itching? He began to stutter... and my GP never stuttered during consultation before.

Conclusion - unless I could remove the trigger, I would be stuck with this itch and rash for good. Would Sophie suffer similar fate? Already I found her prone to heat rash... Poor Sophie!

Shopping And Eating Day

We took Sophie out to Borders and shopping at Tangs. It had been quite a while since we last went out like that. We did not want to disturb Sophie's schedule... Well, not too much anyway. We had around 3 hours before her dinner.

Feeling a little hungry, we stopped for some snack before we headed for home. We ordered a waffle with french vanilla ice-cream and bananas. It was quite a long wait so Sophie got a little restless and I had to entertain her with paper cranes. It was amazing how she became so wonderfully fascinated with something as simple as origami. BUT ah... When the waffle came, Sophie quickly lost interest in paper cranes and looked towards my fork and knife instead. And of course, she loved the taste of waffle with ice-cream and bananas needless to say. If only she ate my cooking like that at home...

Subway @ Clementi Of Sue

Papa's friend, Sue, has just opened a Subway at Clementi. We decided to give her our support by getting our dinner there. Although I am hardly a fan of Subway, I found her generous servings surprisingly fresh and tasty. And of course, Sophie will be working there after school when she hits the legal age to do part-time work. Hey, it's a good training ground for her!

ELC @ Paragon

Tired of just browsing catalogues and websites, Mama finally went down to ELC at Paragon in hope to buy up the store. Unfortunately, Mama could not afford most of the inventory. Thus, Papa only allow Mama to get items that Sophie REALLY REALLY needed... Er... That's NOTHING, not in that shop anyway! In the end, we bought an easel on almost 50% discount and some magnetic tiles (also on discount). Oh well, at least Sophie seemed to have fun exploring the shop.

Oh... Did I mention that ELC has great service? The sales person from Paragon reserved a set of magnetic tiles for us from the branch at Forum to be picked up on the same day. In order to make it even more convenient for us, she told the staff there to pass the item to us at the taxi stand so that we did not have to park the car. Well, SERVICE...

So, You Can't Decide Who Sophie Looks Like More?

... and all thanks to Cherish and her blog... I think everyone should try it and have fun!

MyHeritage: Family tree - Genealogy - Celebrity - Collage - Morph

Big Beady Experience

This morning, I showed Sophie how to thread a shoe lace through a bead. She watched me a couple of times and then off she went, trying on her own. Look at the intense look on her face! She was determined to get it right... She still needs to learn how to pull the shoe lace through the hole. But she managed to put the shoe lace into the hole accurately... I am a proud Mama.

By The Pool

Sophie's nap was short again... She has not been able to go back on her schedule since Chinese New Year. I wonder if she is actually trying to change her own schedule... after all, she should soon only need ONE nap a day instead of TWO. So, Ah Gong, Ah Mah and Mama took her for a walk around the neighbourhood. I took the opportunity to buy some fruit and cake for her. She seems to have developed heat rash (maybe that's why she can't sleep...).

After that, we sat by the pool and enjoyed a moment of peace and good breeze, even though it was just a mere 10 minutes. Sophie was soon edgy and wanted to head home... Sigh!

Stick To Me

In my "pre-Sophie" days, I was quite a perfectionist, thinking that we must always achieve excellence and keep things in good condition. I have learnt that it is alright for things to be faulty, ugly or plain imprefect. Of course, it "helps" when things sometimes got "destroyed" by Sophie the very next day it was bought.

At the Singapore Flyers, Sophie was given a set of stickers (leftover from 2008). Initially, I thought of keeping them for her until she was old enough to use them "properly". Then I realised that the value of those stickers is not with its designs, condition or even correct use, it is the way they can intrigue Sophie and allow her to figure out how they "stick" and "unstick" onto different surfaces. So... Sophie had quite a fun time taking out the stickers and pasting them everywhere... I also had a great time watching her, especially since they are F.O.C.

Magnetic Magic

I used to be very fascinated by those magnetic drawing boards when I was young. I did not understand how it worked but I really loved drawing on it. Of course, the designs were quite limited in the past, unlike nowadays when you (actually the children) are spoilt for choices. We bought one, with Sesame Street characters, for Sophie yesterday. It is meant for children 2 years and above, but I guess Sophie should be okay with it under supervision.

Ah Gong and Ah Mah seemed equally thrilled to supervise Sophie as she played with the magnetic board. We were so impressed that she could use the right end of the pen and slide the "rubber duckie" to "erase" the scribbles.

Bishan Park - Leaves And Twigs Picking

After having lunch at Naenae's place (already 4 plus), we aborted our original plan to "run amok" at the Botanic Gardens and stopped at Bishan Park on the way home instead. We wanted to see if it was a good place to let Sophie run around freely. Alas, there were many inconsiderate bikers there. They could not seem to keep themselves on the bikers' lane, so we had to "rescue" Sophie every now and then while she waddled on the footpath. In the end, we just stationed at a relatively deserted area (for dogs actually). That was when she started picking up leaves and twigs again... determined and all.

Sophie seemed to be poking the leaves and stones with twigs, so I think it is time to let her try threading beads and buttons.

Aqua Doodle Revisited

We bought the Aqua Doodle for Sophie some time ago, but she was not really into drawing then. Today, we tried to arouse her interest again. This time, I filled the pen with water and indeed she was thrilled to hold a pen. In fact, I think she wanted to play with the pen more than drawing on the pad. It was fun to see how puzzled she looked when the water appeared colourless on her and yet blue on the pad.