Touch of Warmth & Tenderness

Everyone knows how Sophie and I struggle with piano since she was 3 1/2 years old. We started with Yamaha music programme even earlier and Kindermusic when she was a toddler. We tried for years but she just couldn't, wouldn't progress. It's especially painful when I see how other kids learn their instrument slowly but steadily and there are so many adults we know who can play their instrument well. Yet nobody can help Sophie. Unlike CK, I wanted to give up on her too many times. He said to me that those kids out there who can't play the piano, they probably tried and gave up. Those who are playing piano are those who persisted… whose parents haven't given up. Then he quoted me as an example. He said I didn't even try learning piano or any instrument because my dad didn't believe… no, because he believed I would give up halfway. Ck doesn't want Sophie or Alfee to live with the same kind of regret that I have. I almost cried. 

Thus, I started asking around for recommendations for a piano teacher again. This time, I asked the mummy chat group from Sophie's school. These are some PRC mummies from the Parent Support Group. I was apprehensive at first because we hardly have much in common and I'm so insanely uncomfortable socialising with people. But my neighbour asked me to join so I did out of courtesy. Only one person responded but she was helpful. I couldn't use her advice much but I guess I still appreciate her effort in advising. 

I was about to let the matter pass and move on in my search for a piano teacher. Then my neighbour called me. She started telling me about her son's piano teacher and that she had asked her to teach Sophie on my behalf. I was so grateful and touched by her gesture. And we barely know each other. If this arrangement works out, I'll be forever grateful. I am impressed that she thinks so little of our usual Singaporean kind of competitiveness. She doesn't keep her information a secret to have a competitive edge over us. In fact, their family neither hide the boy's talent from us nor boast about it. He's a year younger than Sophie but he's as good as Grade 5 in piano. She even told me to let the kids learn together and keep each other motivated. In a way, she showed me that the true spirit of "winning" is to compete based on one's real ability and how you strive with any given condition. Of course Sophie isn't much of a competitor either.

This incident taught me that if I need a hand, I must extend my arm towards other so that it's easier for others to reach out to me. And I'm right to do what I do and offer others help and impart my skills to others for free. Although there are many who has since surpassed me in skills and knowledge, I am glad I have been part of their process and I'm given motivation to keep improving myself.

Daily Conversations

In bed...
Alfee: (put his hand on my tummy) When are you going to have another baby?
Me: ... don't have already...
Alfee: ... no more? Oh u have to get married again to have a baby, right?
Me: ... er...
Alfee: ... but u cannot marry anymore...

Audiobooks & Headphones

We tried to play some audiobooks by Jim Weiss and Alfee wouldn't sit still to listen. He wasn't keen at all, only Sophie sat through the stories. Alfee would run, jump and play with toys instead. He didn't hear a word. And I always thought he's a auditory learner. Even though he's got excellent hearing, he tends to filter out anything that he's not concerned about. Or maybe he hears everything so it's very hard for him to filter out irrelevant information.

Frustrated and disappointed, I went to Popular and bought a headphone. I let Alfee sat and listen to the stories using it. True enough, he sat still. He's still not interested in the story but we managed to sit through a 7 min story. He was able to capture the title and some details. He's forced to stay on the stool because of the cords, I suppose. And environmental noises (distractions) was minimal, that helped. Meanwhile, he needs some help to improve his working memory so that he can visualise the stories better and stay motivated to sit through each story. For now, I'm glad the headphone strategy is working.

The Loy Kids

Time flies when you are busy trying to micromanage kids and put a household in order. Even though I'm still struggling, I kind of got used to this sort of lifestyle. In a way, my life would never come to a stable equilibrium. The only certainty is 'change' and we just have to adapt and move accordingly. 

 

Sophie is still emotionally jammed and Alfee is starting to show more and more of his ADHD traits. I'm more concerned with Alfee's issue because is too obvious and he's bound to get into trouble in primary school. Apparently our attempt to provide him with a more suitable sensory diet didn't yield as much as we have hoped. 

Our last hope (for now) is Brain Gym. We need to rewire their brains so that they can function properly. Together with strategies to manage their behaviours and diet control, perhaps we might have some luck in improving their lives. 

All About LCK

CK plays at All About Eve on alternate Mondays but this is probably the only picture of him on a well lit stage. Although he always says he's not good, I'm still very proud of him when I'm his audience.

D & D (Drumstruck and Domani)

Lessons at Drumstruck resume on the 4th day of the lunar new year.

Sophie requested (or demanded) for lunch at Domani (Ngee Ann City). The food is average and I find it a little costly to dine there. Fortunately, CK has some coupons that cut down our dining expenses.

CNY 2015 Reunion Dinner 1 (Loy Family)

This year, we had our reunion dinner at Jumbo (Dempsey) a couple of days ahead. We thought it would be less stressful for the kids who still had to be in school on the eve of CNY. To our pleasant surprise, it is also much cheaper. Because it was a Sunday, we were all able to turn up on time. In fact, we were too early to even enter the restaurant so we lingered around for some photo shots. 

We are so glad the kids have cousins. We are all from small nucleus families so the kids don's really have many cousins to interact and play with. And undeniably, 'lo hei' was much more fun with kids around to toss all the food everywhere. 

It has become very apparent that all of us are ageing fast and furious. My wrinkles and fats are showing, my energy level is lower and it really doesn't help that I am still trying to recover from a nasty flu episode. I call it an episode because nowadays, i take forever to recover.

 

I love selfless and wefies. We look much better when we can see how we look in a photo BEFORE taking them. Of course the angle also hides our imperfections well. 

CNY is a good opportunity for family portraits. At least we were all nicely dressed up and the mood was great. Everyone looked wonderful.

CK likes to talk about the 'thick and thin's that Ah Boh went through every weekends with Sophie and Nae Nae when Sophie was just a toddler. Because of that, they are very bonded. In fact, Ah Boh has much more shared memories with Sophie than with Alfee. The little Missy isn't well and she could hardly open her eyes over dinner. Why do we have to fall sick during CNY? 

 

We were photobombed by Alfee. He's such a cheeky boy. And sometimes I wish he was more of a silent and serious type instead. Looking at CK and me, I very much doubt he would ever be solemn. 

Dinner was great though the food wasn't super fantastic. The wonderful companions compensated for all the shortcomings of the food. Happy Lunar New Year, everyone!

Daily Conversations

Me: Will u take care of me when I'm old?
Alfee: (nodded and grinned) Yes! 
Me: (Hengz ar... my son not bad...)
Alfee: (interrupted my thots) I'll put u on wheelchair, ok?!

Daily Conversations

Alfee's so loving that it's creepy...

Alfee: Mummy. .. are u going to live for a long long time?
Me: ... no...
Alfee: ... then I cannot die with u...
Me: ... hopefully not.
Alfee: Then I'm going to keep u aft u die...
Me: ... keep me? How?
Alfee: ... I'll put in in my room, kiss u and hug u....
Me : (psycho music playing in my ears, images of my skeleton and grey hair popping out in blaring red background lights) ... er... baby... er... I'll rot.
Alfee: ... huh, wats rot?
Me:... er.. like apples left out for weeks and weeks?... turn black, soggy and smelly. . Worms, flies and maggots will come n eat.
Alfee: .. oh... (looking horrified, tearing) u made me cry...
Me:...

Daily Conversations

In response to my disapproval for using mechanical pencils in school...

Sophie: ... Mummy, Mrs L said I write neater now that I use mechanical pencil...
Me: ... (disapprovingly) Mrs L talks a lot in class...
Sophie: ... that's becos she's a teacher. Teachers are suppose to teach pple and give compliments ... even if it's a waste of time. 
Me: ... (又无言了)

Trying to play counsellor to Sophie's relationship issues in school...

Sophie: ... (showing me her handwriting) Mummy, ZY writes like this... so small...
Me: She's your friend again? Didn't she unfriend you?
Sophie: ... yah, she's my friend now...
Me: ... What happened?
Sophie: ... I asked her why she din wan to b my friend ...
Me: ... oh... (u actually did wat I suggested)
Sophie: ... and she said she thot I'm always with G and din wan to b her friend... so she din wan to b my fren...
Me: ... huh? Then?
Sophie: ... I told her I'm still her fren.. I'm both her fren n G ' s fren... so we r frens again!
Me: ... oh wow... good... (that easy huh? U shld hve done so earlier... save u a few days of tears)

Daily Conversations

In response to Alfee's overwhelming love and over reliance on Sophie... I had a talk with him...

Me: ... u know we all hve 'alone' and 'together' things to do...
Alfee: ... but I dun wan to do 'alone' things... I want Jie Jie to play with me...
Me: ... Sophie wants to read by herself... She wants to do 'alone' things now... wat u can do is to play quietly beside her while she reads... so tt u can b together, doing 'alone' things together. 
Alfee: ... (sulking but went ahead and sat by himself to play with his toys)

So happy n proud I had resolved the problem... but moments later. ..

Me:... okay, come... let's eat breakfast... let's do 'together' things...
Sophie:... (no response)
Alfee: ... (continued playing) I want to my own 'alone' things...
Papa: ... (reading newspaper)
Me: ... (KNN) U all r using my words agst me... 

What a beautiful start to my day!

New Study Table

New Year Resolution For Myself

Usually I delay listing new year resolutions because they tend to be more realistic and achievable that way... publicly declaring them helps to strengthen my commitment. Here goes...
1. Do something (however small or insignificant) nice for myself everyday. 
2. Embrace life's challenges (consciously reframe negativity into positivity when necessary)
3. And let go of the past... good or bad, it's over.

Enjoyable Learning

What lovely weather to start the new school year! 

Ck and I were flipping channels last night...

Me: ... Oh! That's a good programme... must get Sophie to watch... (blah blah blah) ... Nowadays PSLE questions. .. (blah blah blah)
CK: ... must watch becos it's interesting... and enjoyable... not for exams or studies... y do u think she ran away to watch her cartoon?
Me: ... 

This year, we'll learn what's interesting and enjoyable... after she finishes her school work.

First Day of School 2015

School starts later this year at 7.30am so Sophie has 5 mins more for her breakfast. It might not seem a lot, but everyone feels less stressed once we aren't rushing for time. Miraculously, Alfee woke up at 7 am this morning. For the past week, he's been waking up around 8 am. Maybe the overall school atmosphere has an impact on his biological clock as well.

Although I had hoped that the kids would go back to school soon, I still find myself feeling a little lost without the little missy around the house, doing the usual stuff she does that I can never figure out what.    Anyhow, I thought I could have a bit of rest once she was on her way to school so I made myself coffee and sat in front of my computer. Then little man decided that this was one of those rare moments we were alone, without Sophie.

Basically, he took out a book that Sophie has been showing him. It's a book on amateur sewing projects   that I bought for Sophie last year. Sophie wasn't too keen on the Sewing School then, but now, she seems to be quite attracted by the idea of making her own stuff toys. Suddenly she could make all the characters she wants for her pretend play, I guess. 

Back to Alfee… he has been pestering Sophie to make some stuff toys from the book for him. Sophie probably didn't mind if she actually knew how to do it. I have seen them arguing about it and how exasperated she became when Alfee refused to let her off. With Sophie away in school, Alfee decided to pester me instead. I told him we haven't got the materials and he suggested we buy NOW. I said it would take too long to make and he assured me he could wait. I warned him it's hard work and he offered to help. Now, how could I say 'no' anymore? So I gathered whatever scraps I could find in my craft drawers and attempted to make the simplest project possible - the mouse.

For someone who has never taken any Home Economics or sewing lessons before, I dare say I did a good job on the mouse. The only shortcoming is that it looks a little like a banana with ears and eyes. But that isn't my fault. Alfee picked the colour and he didn't cut properly so the felt was much smaller than it ought to be. All the same, it has been completed and the only thing left - basking in its glory for the little guy. And yes, after some severe rough handling… RIP Mouse.

Right after Alfee had his lunch, I took out a box of premix brownie and baked (or cooked using my rice cooker) a cake. It's my approach to systematically build up my confidence to bake and cook. I know it's time I dismiss my helper because the kids are getting old enough to help out around the house and be independent. My contract with her will end next April or so. I need to be self sufficient by then. 

On a lighter note, the kids seemed to have enjoyed the cake although it was a little too rich for me (quite possibly them too). I put whipped cream on it so that it's less overwhelming. Okay, we'll do other flavours next time.

Piece Of Cake

I don't have much talent in baking or cooking in general, but I do like to experiment sometimes. I found this gluten free chestnut cake mix and thought it might be worth a shot. Also I am lazy so I used the rice cooker to make the cake.

Fortunately my kids are not too fussy with homemade cake. Maybe they know that my standard is like that and they shouldn't complain or I might force them to eat all.

Happy New Year!

We had a late start to the new year this morning. Everyone refused to get out of bed, which is extremely rare except for all the inappropriate times, and we didn't really have any plans for today apparently. It was like we were all trying to reserve energy for the coming challenging of the new year. And yes, we definitely see a busy and difficult year ahead. And no, I'm not being pessimistic.

When we finally got ourselves out of the house, we had lunch at The Asian Kitchen (Raffles City). Our first instinct was to eat at Ding Tai Fung but hey, it's the new year… new choices… new habits… maybe we'll have new experiences and surprises too. As it turned out, the food was decent and affordable. No regrets. Thats great for our first lunch of 2015. 

After that, we headed to Suntec to buy Sophie her study desk. We have been looking around for an appropriate and affordable ergonomic study desk for her since she's likely to be doing more and more independent desk work at home. We settled for one model from Kettler. With my neck and upper back issues still pending, I'm hoping to save the kids from the pain… literally. Along the way, we saw a trampoline on sale at a roadshow. I was super tempted. It's sturdy and small enough to be put away. It would be a great vestibular and proprioceptive sensory integration activity for Alfee. However, it's over $460. Honestly, I was upset. I'll keep searching for a good trampoline for him or maybe I'll just go ahead and buy it.

The kids slept on the way home so CK dropped me off at Thomson Plaza to get some school supplies. The crowd at Popular was overwhelming so my shopping experience was ruined. I was surprised that some parents were buying school textbooks on the first day of the new year! I just grabbed a couple of assessment books and queued at the cashier very reluctantly. While waiting, I overheard (not bu choice because they were talking so loudly) a young adult complaining to her friend about her computer. As she grew more and more emotional and agitated as she went into the details of her problems. Soon, all the vulgarities started spilling out of her mouth. I wasn't offended but I remembered how CK always frown at youngsters who curse and swear loud enough for others to hear. He thinks these people are attention seekers and such behaviours aren't very good for their image. 

Suddenly, a fatherly looking man turned round and told her in a very low voice to stop. I couldn't hear what he said but I managed to catch 'there're children here'. He wasn't angry or out to embarrass the young girl. And to my pleasant surprise, this young lady also took it very well. She apologised and lowered her voice. I didn't hear any foul language after that. I love what I witnessed. A concerned and polite dad educating other youngsters to be more socially responsible and an educated and humble young lady who accepted criticisms and moved on graciously. It must be my lucky day… maybe 2015 would be a good year after all!

In the evening, CK took Alfee to his room for some reading practice while Sophie sat down and did some reflection and quiet work before sleep. I know it's the first day of 2015 and we really should be doing new year resolutions instead of 2014 reviews, but I thought it's a nice simple task to kickstart the year. In fact, I'm leaving the resolutions for tomorrow. I once read that we tend to list a whole bunch of unrealistic new year resolutions if we do it before the end of the year. After all the excitement and celebrations, we will somehow be more realistic and list down more achievable resolutions. Since Sophie is pretty unlikely to think very hard about her review or goals, I searched the web for readymade templates. In the end, I downloaded the template from Skip To My Lou, mainly because it looks fun to do and not at all intimidating.

Singapore Orchid Garden

Kids At Work

Elmo Cupcake Making Session

This was our 3rd year doing Christmas carolling and this year it was at the Lions Befrienders Senior Activity Centre at Bendemeer. As usual, Pei Ee would be the main coordinator and the rest of us would bring the kids or family along to help out. Sophie and Alfee didn't attend this year. Just a few days ago, I realised I had signed Sophie up for Elmo Cupcake Workshop at Yio Chu Kang Community Club. Thus, I thought it was probably for the better that I left the kids at home with my Ah Gong. My role was slightly more important this year because I had to conduct a craft session. Without Rose or CK, I wouldn't be able to do a decent job with both of them around. Therefore, I decided that I would go there on my own this time.

While I was away, Ah Gong sent Sophie to the Elmo Cupcake Workshop at Yio Chu Kang Community Club. I don't really have high regards for such holiday programmes but I was pleasantly surprised. The kids really made the cupcakes from scratch. I thought the cupcakes were ready made or made with premix and all the kids had to do was decorate them. Apparently, the teacher did teach them to make cupcakes from raw ingredients. Unfortunately, Sophie's cupcakes were not too beautifully decorated (or maybe those pretty ones were already eaten by the time I came back). Still, she has had fun and the cupcakes tasted nice, so I have no complaints.