Moment To Cry About

I have been extremely stressed out lately during Sophie's mealtimes because she is demanding to self-feed. She would refuse food, thrash her face left and right, then push my hands (with spoonful of food) away. Of course, the food ended up everywhere except in her mouth. I admit, she made me cry a couple of times. I really HATE food mess... My nostrils were filled with the stench of fish (and everything else) and I lose appetite. I had to literally scrub my hands and fingers to get rid of the smell. It was so bad that my finger tips are starting to crack. It took me a lot of discipline not to scrub Sophie down as well. She no longer smells sweet and nice, she is basically FISH...

Anyway, I cried again today at dinner. BUT it was not because we fought. We have reached a compromise somehow. Sophie is allowed to hold a fork while I feed her. Everytime I try to put a spoonful of food into her mouth, I will open MY mouth for HER to pretend feeding me with her fork. She seems to enjoy the pretend play although she gets cranky if I do not open my mouth wide enough for her to stick the fork all the way in.

Today, I put some cake on her fork in attempt to teach her to self-feed. She tends to play with the food so I still have to guide her hand. In order to encourage her, I kissed her each time she managed to put the cake into her mouth successfully and hand the fork to me for refill (usually she would not let go). We did the same for so many times that she started anticipating my kisses. She would smiled at me, leaned forward and pressed her forehead against my lips after I took the fork from her hand.

To my pleasant surprise, Sophie suddenly coiled her arms around my neck (after I kissed her) and kissed me on my mouth. Then she started patting me gently on my shoulder (just like the way I pat her). It was at that moment, I cried. She was so sweet... so endearing! I told her then that I love her and I would always remember that moment. I have never quite felt so touched and blissful since she was born. Well, that lasts 3 seconds... Sophie is back driving me nuts!!!